Usually about this time...well, not at this exact time because it is very nearly 2 AM, but around this time I'd be sorting through photos over the weekend trying to find the best way to describe to you all the zany events that occurred during our latest home stand, but this 2 AM is not like previous 2 AMs because this 2 AM is a morning in which I should be sleeping before our great venture into the mystical land of hockey known as C.A.N.A.D.A.
As I've said in earlier posts, the last time I was in Canada I was five. I don't remember much except a giant phallic tower (so I'm assuming this is Toronto) (oh and I didn't realize it was phallic until much later in life, of course, unless you accept freudian psychology that suggests that I did know it was on a subconscious level) oh yes and dolphins. If Toronto has a Marineland to go with its tower then the city in question of which I only have the vaguest of memories is likely Toronto. But again, I'm rambling (shush it's 2 AM)....I haven't been to Canada in a long long while. Goliath has never been to Canada. In the next day or so, depending on how long the drive ends up, we will cross the border!
There has been much speculation in our home the last few weeks about just what this Canada is going to be like. Even though I am well traveled (thirty something countries??) and Goliath the possessor of graduate education we are so excited to go to Canada we feel like five year olds venturing into a week at Disneyland for the first time and debating which stuffed animals to bring. For example, Goliath has packed an absurd number of jeans due to his bizarre paranoia that Canada will not have jeans. He also packed a lot of socks. I guess that makes sense at least so I don't have to worry about his mental health just yet.
Goliath and I are also excited and terrified at the prospect of the border crossing. We wonder if it is anything like an airport where you queue and have lots of time to consider if there will be groping involved. Maybe in Canada they grope you too but you still get to wear your socks because it is Canada. Heehee sock-groping.
Anyway, I am excited to see a real live Tim Horton's. And I will probably cry when I see the Saddledome, just like I did when I saw Churchill Downs because, according to Goliath, I am a silly emotional creature that has far too much love for other things that aren't him. Like horseracing. And hockey. And fluffy sheep stuffed animals that come out around Easter time.
And I am excited to change US Dollars into loonies. I intend to grin widely the moment I have one. And treasure it. Because then I can have a wallet full of them and pretend it's a little asylum. I am going to print out a label and stick it on my wallet and it will say "asylum" and then I will stick it full of loonies and laugh maniacally. And Goliath and I can pretend to be evil asylum wardens and every time I try to spend money and remove a loonie, Goliath can hold a big meeting about whether the loonie is ready for release into society. We can have hearings about the money and their likelihood of success outside of the wallet and whether they pose any danger to school children. And the change pocket with the zipper can be for all the poo-flinging loonies. And the ones who think they are John Lennon.
Anyway, the point of this whole post is that you people are just going to have to wait for the pictures and story of the weekend WHICH IS AMAZING. SO MUCH TO TELL YOU. And let's hope I don't forget all those little details while dancing around in Calgary with Goliath in socks.
WHOA it's 2:30 and I'm not done packing. SEE YOU GUYS IN CANADA.
As I've said in earlier posts, the last time I was in Canada I was five. I don't remember much except a giant phallic tower (so I'm assuming this is Toronto) (oh and I didn't realize it was phallic until much later in life, of course, unless you accept freudian psychology that suggests that I did know it was on a subconscious level) oh yes and dolphins. If Toronto has a Marineland to go with its tower then the city in question of which I only have the vaguest of memories is likely Toronto. But again, I'm rambling (shush it's 2 AM)....I haven't been to Canada in a long long while. Goliath has never been to Canada. In the next day or so, depending on how long the drive ends up, we will cross the border!
There has been much speculation in our home the last few weeks about just what this Canada is going to be like. Even though I am well traveled (thirty something countries??) and Goliath the possessor of graduate education we are so excited to go to Canada we feel like five year olds venturing into a week at Disneyland for the first time and debating which stuffed animals to bring. For example, Goliath has packed an absurd number of jeans due to his bizarre paranoia that Canada will not have jeans. He also packed a lot of socks. I guess that makes sense at least so I don't have to worry about his mental health just yet.
Goliath and I are also excited and terrified at the prospect of the border crossing. We wonder if it is anything like an airport where you queue and have lots of time to consider if there will be groping involved. Maybe in Canada they grope you too but you still get to wear your socks because it is Canada. Heehee sock-groping.
And I am excited to change US Dollars into loonies. I intend to grin widely the moment I have one. And treasure it. Because then I can have a wallet full of them and pretend it's a little asylum. I am going to print out a label and stick it on my wallet and it will say "asylum" and then I will stick it full of loonies and laugh maniacally. And Goliath and I can pretend to be evil asylum wardens and every time I try to spend money and remove a loonie, Goliath can hold a big meeting about whether the loonie is ready for release into society. We can have hearings about the money and their likelihood of success outside of the wallet and whether they pose any danger to school children. And the change pocket with the zipper can be for all the poo-flinging loonies. And the ones who think they are John Lennon.
WHOA it's 2:30 and I'm not done packing. SEE YOU GUYS IN CANADA.
PAHAHAHAHA!! OH Pennypen. You silly wannabe Canadian you. :D I love the whole money bit.
ReplyDeletepffft I can totally see you having an asylum wallet
ReplyDelete